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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119590">a little loss of innocence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_stars/pseuds/indigo_stars'>indigo_stars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grand Master &amp; Grand Padawan Bonding (Star Wars), Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:42:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_stars/pseuds/indigo_stars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka was at a loss at what to do. Getting Anakin to eat meals with her, go sparring with her, trying to meditate with her — all were fruitless endeavors, because half the time Ahsoka realized that Anakin wasn’t even in the Temple.</p><p>She wanted to go get Obi-Wan, because surely he would know what to do, but he was in recovery for his stunt as Rako Hardeen — and Ahsoka had no doubt that that was the source of Anakin’s rage.</p><p>And her own, Ahsoka was slowly finding out.</p><p>[or; Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have an important conversation]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Ahsoka Tano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a little loss of innocence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this idea came to me at 1am two nights ago and would not leave me alone, so here we are :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ahsoka felt as if she’d gone back in time, because once again, Anakin was not talking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know exactly what went down the day after Naboo’s Festival of Light, only that it was something big and unpleasant, because Anakin stormed off the moment he got back to Coruscant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaving her alone with a very much alive Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not knowing what to think, Ahsoka hurried away before either of them had a chance to speak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anakin was tinkering with spare droid parts when Ahsoka entered their living quarters. A turbulent wave of emotions seeped through their bond, but Ahsoka knew better than to try and pry at the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would talk when he’s ready, Ahsoka reasoned. Despite wearing his heart on his sleeve, Anakin almost always had trouble admitting what he was actually feeling. So Ahsoka resolved to be there when he finally did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She just didn’t count on him going completely silent. Again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t count on him shutting himself off from everyone. Again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka was at a loss at what to do. Getting Anakin to eat meals with her, go sparring with her, trying to meditate with her — all were fruitless endeavors, because half the time Ahsoka realized that Anakin wasn’t even in the Temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted to go get Obi-Wan, because surely he would know what to do, but he was in recovery for his stunt as Rako Hardeen — and Ahsoka had no doubt that </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the source of Anakin’s rage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And her own, Ahsoka was slowly finding out. She found herself avoiding Obi-Wan almost as readily as Anakin was. Part of her felt bad, because Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to fling herself into Obi-Wan’s embrace and reassure herself that </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes, he’s alive and he’s not going anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except, all Ahsoka could think about was how cold Obi-Wan was as his pulse weakened, of how still he was, lying limp in her lap and the burning sensation in her eyes as she tried not to cry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The worst part wasn’t even feeling her own world break, but watching Anakin’s shatter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could still head her master’s screams, raw and so full of pain that it still woke her up at night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka tried meditating — channeling all the negatives that she was feeling and release it — but she couldn’t focus enough to calm herself down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So she did the next best thing to do when she needed to clear her mind: lightsaber training. Though it usually helped when Anakin was with her, giving praise and corrections.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except for the fact that he’d been gone for almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>twenty-four hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Growling, Ahsoka swung her saber around in a less-than-elegant arc, slashing wildly at the open air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was graceful.” A crisp, Coruscanti accent floated into the room, laced with levity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caught off guard, Ahsoka spun on her heel to keep herself from falling on her backside. In one swift motion, she deactivated her lightsabers and faced the cause of all her turmoil.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nearly did a double take at the sight of Obi-Wan: clean-shaven. The dark circles of his eyes were a stark contrast to his pale skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very graceful,” Obi-Wan repeated. There was a hint of a smile on his face, which only caused Ahsoka’s blood to boil.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She clipped her lightsabers to her belt. “You look terrible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Obi-Wan had eyebrows, they would be raised. His hand went to his head, gently brushing it. “Well, I’ll admit — I’m not a fan of all this stubble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll grow back,” Ahsoka said shortly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The small smile that Obi-Wan had fell from his lips, his arm dropping back to his side. He suddenly looked uncertain, and Ahsoka was beginning to feel awkward standing in the middle of the room, when Obi-Wan asked:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen Anakin?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. “Not since yesterday.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Ahsoka said, more harshly than intended. Then, more softly, “No. I don’t know where he is. Not in the Temple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That much was true — Anakin seemed to be avoiding the Temple as much as possible. Which would mean that he was most likely as Senator Amidala’s, but Ahsoka wasn’t about to tell that to Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that she didn’t need to. Judging by the look on his face, Obi-Wan knew exactly where Anakin was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka was beginning to feel fidgety. Never once had she felt so uncomfortable talking to Obi-Wan. Not even at the beginning of her apprenticeship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence finally broke when Obi-Wan gestured her over to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we take a walk?” His tone, while friendly, held no room for argument. Ahsoka lowered her gaze, suddenly feeling ashamed of her shortness with him and obediently followed Obi-Wan out of the training room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked in silence until they reached Obi-Wan’s living quarters. It was right next door to hers and Anakin’s. It was notably tidier, though there was a small pile in one corner full of droid parts that Anakin always tinkered with whenever he was over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan moved over to the stove, where a pot of tea sat ready to be poured. He gave her a questioning glance and Ahsoka shrugged. A moment later, a cup of tea was placed in her hands and she took a sip, letting the beverage warm her up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat down in one of the empty chairs by the table, leg bouncing. Obi-Wan took a seat across from her, and Ahsoka watched him warily, unsure of what to do. What to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think,” Obi-Wan finally said, “we need to talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka placed her cup on the table, avoiding his gaze. “There’s nothing to talk about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which, in part, was true. Ahsoka had learned about Obi-Wan’s mission after she and Anakin returned from Orondia. Knowing that Anakin would’ve killed Obi-Wan without realizing it sent chills down Ahsoka’s spine every time she thought about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching Obi-Wan, disguised as Rako Hardeen, virtually beat Anakin to unconsciousness was also something that kept Ahsoka up at night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So yes, maybe there were a lot of things Ahsoka would like to say, but her thoughts were so disorganized she didn’t even know where to begin. She had everything and nothing to say to Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan sat still, the image of a perfect Jedi. It was slightly unsettling to look at him without any hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t believe that,” Obi-Wan said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Ahsoka looked defiantly at Obi-Wan. “I’m worried about Anakin. Happy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quite the opposite.” There was a sadness in his eyes Ahsoka hadn’t seen earlier. This didn’t detour her, though.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” she challenged. “You’re worried about Anakin? So then you’ve noticed that he hasn’t been eating, or sleeping, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>speaking</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Oh wait — you haven’t, because you’ve been off pretending to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka noticed Obi-Wan’s grip tighten around his cup, his fingers whitening. “That’s not fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not trying to be,” Ahsoka snapped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan sighed, somehow simultaneously younger and older, “I had a duty to the Order—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Ahsoka growled, “give me that excuse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ahsoka—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” Ahsoka said forcefully, slamming her hand on the table. The anger that she tried so hard to keep at bay exploded and everything came pouring out of her. “No — don’t — I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> about duty, or your responsibility to the Order!” She was standing now, trembling from head to toe. “You made me think that you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span> — you — I felt you die. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You died in my arms</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her voice shook, and despite her effort not to, a few tears made its way down her cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan was silent for a long time, his expression unreadable. Finally, he said, “Oh, little one…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka looked down at her feet, eyes burning. She hadn’t heard him call her that since the beginning of her apprenticeship with Anakin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get it out of my head,” she confessed. “You just… fell to the ground, right in front of me. And Anakin…” Her breath hitched a bit. “He wouldn’t stop screaming your name, after. It took both Master Plo and Master Fisto to pry you from his arms, when we finally made it back to the Temple.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan’s eyes widened slightly. “Anakin carried me back to the Temple?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice was low, barely a whisper. The Force felt turbulent, and Ahsoka realized that he was distraught. It was the first time she’d ever felt such pure, unveiled emotion from Obi-Wan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he did.” Ahsoka suddenly felt ashamed by her outburst. It was just now occurring to her that Obi-Wan had suffered just as much as her and Anakin. Physically, because Obi-Wan looked terrible, but also emotionally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It couldn’t have been easy for him to deceive them. Ahsoka briefly wondered if she would be able to be strong enough to do the same, were she in Obi-Wan’s position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Ahsoka made her way around the table until she was directly in front of Obi-Wan. She stared at him for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, without warning, she threw her arms around Obi-Wan, clutching him as if he were a lifeline. Obi-Wan grunted at the sudden weight, but didn’t pull away. After a second, he too wrapped his arms around her. Ahsoka buried her face into him, truly feeling like a child for the first time in a long time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ahsoka felt like she was finally waking up from a nightmare, after weeks of misery. It was like breathing fresh air after being underwater for too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obi-Wan was here, and Ahsoka could feel his heart beating steadily. It was real. He was real, and he was here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really glad you’re alive,” Ahsoka whispered, her voice muffled, meaning every word. The anger she felt towards him had disappeared as quickly as it came. “Thank you for coming back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She finally pulled away, giving Obi-Wan a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always, little one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    <b>***</b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there isn’t a lot of ahsoka-obi-wan bonding in tcw so i decided to fix that. because reasons.</p><p>also, i’m now on <a href="https://indigostars.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> so feel free to come say hi and yell at me about star wars, i will yell right back.</p><p>any kudos/comments would be greatly appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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